04.12.17

Real Life Featuring Ali Linthorst

My Fear Antidote is thrilled to introduce Ali. She is a gem. We know you will love her by the end of this post as much as we do.

ALI LINTHORST

Ali Linthorst
http://ap.lijit.com/www/delivery/vst.php?zoneid=470620

My name is Ali Linthorst, I am 29 years old and I struggle with an eating disorder, anxiety and depression. I am also a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an athlete, a college graduate, a perfectionist and a small business owner.

Ali Linthorst

I developed a severe eating disorder my freshman year of college. It started as a simple laxative here and there, but slowly turned into an obsession that included compulsive exercise, counting calories, skipping meals and more laxatives. I thought I could get better on my own and that I wasn’t sick, but that wasn’t the case.

On April 21, 2008 my best friend was hit by a car while serving an LDS mission in Brazil. He passed away from internal bleeding of the liver. My eating disorder spiraled out of control and so did my anxiety and depression, but to me it was the only thing I could control in my life at the time. I was very, very sick. It started affecting my friendships and my relationships. I was always hiding something, hiding from myself and what I had become. I wasn’t healthy mentally, spiritually or physically. At my very sickest, my weight was extremely low, I couldn’t control my bowels and I was always sick. I finally admitted to myself that I needed help and I turned to my family. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight, but seeking and asking for help saved my life.

Ali Linthorst

I started taking medication for anxiety and depression which ultimately drove my eating disorder. I saw my family doctor once a month to check in and he was very aware and involved in my recovery. I also started seeing a therapist through the Center of Change and I honestly can say that he saved my life. I saw him once, sometimes twice a week for two years.

I found ways to find peace and ways to cope with the daily battle I fought. I wrote a lot! I wrote letters to my friend who passed on, to my eating disorder and to my healthy self. It was the perfect way to release every good and bad thought and feeling. I set small goals and found things that helped me feel joy. Some of the things that gave me peace included healthy exercise, the temple, my family, service and travel. I know these sound cliché, but they worked for me.

Ali Linthorst, Eating Disorder

I can’t say that I am ‘better’, but I can say that each day is a gift. I will always battle this disease, but I choose to be happy and healthy.

Women and men all around the world struggle with eating disorders and mental illness. There is so much shame and embarrassment, but remember people are good and want to help. Please if you are struggling or know someone who is, please ask for help. I promise you will not be judged or abandoned, but buoyed up.

Ali Linthorst, Eating Disorder

As a mother I hope that I never see my children go through what I did, I hope to always be mindful of what I say about myself and to portray a positive body image. I know sometimes I will get it wrong, but I will love them no matter what. Remember to love yourself or strive to love yourself each and every day.

Your journey will look different than someone else’s, but it is still yours and you can make it great.

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Comments

  1. What a powerful story! She is an inspiration to getting back from the other side and living a happy life with her adorable family!

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