Archives for April 2017


Finding Your Creative Spirit Again

How did this happen, the death of my creative spirit?

I was at the top of my game creating art, showing in galleries, writing and illustrating children’s books, and speaking at conferences. Then life and its clutter choked in around me. Somewhere along the way I picked up the distorted thought that I couldn’t be a good mom and an artist at the same time. That was partly true because my children needed my attention and extra TLC because of the trials they were going through. And as all children do – mine grew up and left the nest.

I had always dreamt of this time of my life when I’d have all the time in the world to paint. Throughout the years my art studio became so cluttered that it was worthy to be featured on a hoarders show. I didn’t want to paint or write. My desire to create was dying and I was discouraged and numb. When I was asked to speak I felt like an imposter living a lie. I distracted myself with Netflix and other time wasters and comfort food – chocolate. I felt like I had no purpose anymore.

It was during my morning ritual of scriptures, writing and mediation that I came to realize I had an addiction and I needed help. Around the same time I met Karen Broadhead with Mothers Who Know who commissioned me to do a painting, “Stay by the Tree”. I was also working on another painting, “Help Thou My Unbelief” for the Church History Museum Competition.

Stay by the Tree
Help Thou My Unbelief

Somehow I mustered up enough creative juices to paint and reawaken the dwindling artistic spirit inside of me, igniting my creative spark again. Shortly after, I read the book “The Life Changing Magic of Tiding Up”. I made a choice and did the work, and with the help of family and friends – I did just that – I changed my life. I have an Erma Bombeck quote that hangs in my studio that reads,

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me’.

I truly believe that each and every one of us comes here with a purpose and talents that involve creating beauty and joy to brighten life for others. Creativity doesn’t have to come from a paintbrush or an instrument; it can come from kind words, a smile, cooking, gardening, writing or being a grandma.

I know my creative death happened slowly over time. But I can also testify of a creative rebirth that can begin to grow day by day, choice by choice. Although children will call, life gets busy, and your “art studio” (whatever that might be for you) will get cluttered and lost along the way, remember who you are – a creative spirit of The Great Creator. Creativity and beauty is in your spiritual DNA! Frequently take time to clean up the clutter both physically and spiritually so you can receive inspiration and fulfill the ‘measure of your creation.’ And never forget to choose JOY! We were created to have joy and enjoy this adventure called life. Sure things can be rough but creating and choosing joy are always a choice. Don’t be afraid to rekindle your creative spark again! It might not be easy at first, especially if you find yourself in a similar situation as I did, but I can promise it will be worth it.




The Child Inside: Dusting off your Inner Genius

Anyone love Chip and Joanna Gaines as much as I do? I just tore through their book, The Magnolia Story (go read it!). There is a section in the book where Joanna talks about connecting with your inner child. Totally amazing concept. It really got me thinking, which eventually led me to browse old photos. Me and my husband literally had the same haircut for most  of our childhood. Except he wasn’t the lucky one who got to sport burrito bangs. Thanks mom!

Aren’t kids just amazing? They just do what they want to do and nothing can stop them. They are confident, creative, and wild. Leave it to life to beat us down and fill us with self-doubt, fear, and insecurities.  Next thing you know, you’re an adult, hiding that creative, wonderful, inner genius. For those of you who haven’t lost touch with that side of yourself and have let it grow, you rock. Please share your wisdom!!

For the rest of us… when I mentioned your inner child did thoughts not immediately come into your head about those things you just loved? Were you an artist? An athlete? A comedian? An entrepreneur?

I challenge you to do one thing this weekend to reconnect with your inner child. The creative, free spirited, brave, inner child. Remind yourself that you are an artist. An athlete. A comedian. An entrepreneur.

I loved to write and draw as a child. And if it wasn’t made clear by my weekend plans, I had a serious love affair with dogs.

It’s been a long, bumpy road but recently I had an epiphany. Which ultimately led me to this post. I’m so sick of not being me. And why shouldn’t I? As complicated as my head wants to make it, wow. Is it simple.  Fear is the greatest deterrent of dreams. Comparison makes you want to hide your gifts. Self-doubt cripples all the good you have to offer.

Join me. Roll down the windows in your car (thank you spring!) Belt James Bay’s Let it Go, or if you’re a Frozen fan, you know the drill. Let go of those things that hold you back. Be courageous and most of all LAUGH. You won’t get it perfect, but isn’t that beautiful? You have so much to offer. The world needs your gifts, your talent, your smile, your creativity. Smile big, laugh hard. You don’t have to wear your favorite childhood dress up to the grocery store but tell the little girl you see in the aisle in the dirty tattered princess dress that she is beautiful. Because truly, aren’t we all?

xoxo Kimberly


Let’s Talk About Real Life – Featuring Jenna Webb

-My Fear Antidote is thrilled to kick off our guest post Wednesdays, especially with such a wonderful friend and example as our first poster. We are so grateful for our dear friend Jenna for sharing her story with us.-

Real Life with Jenna Webb

I have found in my life there are turning points which mark significant life changing moments. This is different than standing at a crossroads…it is a pivotal moment where the course of my life has been changed in a positive way.

A few Sunday’s ago I sat on a church bench gazing up at the podium in front of me. I took in the beautiful mountainous view framed by a collection of windows pointing upward. It was a familiar sight, in a familiar place, in a familiar feeling moment. I remembered back 22 years earlier when my parents had just moved to Layton. It was my senior year in high school and I was not very happy about the situation. They took me from my friends, from everything familiar, and all of it felt completely out of my control.  I was very vocal in my disapproval and made it clear to my parents this was the worst thing they could have done to their teenage daughter.

Finally one day my dad said ‘Jen…you can either have a good experience or a bad experience with this change…it’s up to you’. His words struck my soul, and my life changed from that pivotal moment. Now here I found myself all of these years later facing even bigger life challenges and changes which also seemed out of my control. Sitting in that chapel now as a divorced mom of four kids these same words echoed through my soul… ‘you can either have a good experience or a bad experience…it’s up to you’.
I remembered back to the turning point I experienced as a teenager after taking my dad’s advice to heart.  I looked at everything within my control and I changed it for the better starting with my ambition and attitude. This pattern would also be how I learned to successfully manage an eating disorder I developed in my youth. It would also become a pattern for facing seemingly impossible challenges in my life.
Developing an eating disorder did not come over night for me. It started with unhealthy habits and unnecessary dieting. I was trying to fit into the idea of what I thought perfect was. The eating disorder gained momentum by my feelings of wanting to feel in control of my life where I felt completely out of control. Yet interestingly, eventually my mind manipulated my reality to the point where I felt I no longer held any control. This is when I realized I needed help.
I had a counselor, saw a nutritionist, and participated in a study using medication to treat eating disorders.  This was a part of figuring out what exactly was in my control to make positive changes. I had support from a new roommate; a spouse who helped me to be accountable for how I spent my time at home. He supported me positively by not attacking me but rather checking in on me and letting me know he was there if I needed him.
I learned what things were triggers with my eating disorder and most of all I learned how to have a healthy and respectful relationship with my mind and body. I learned how to love and appreciate myself,  while also accepting my weaknesses. However, I knew I was also blessed with strengths which counteracted those weaknesses.
I love the opportunity I have to help mentor other people through similar struggles. Luckily, I have watched them find their pivotal moment and make changes only they could make. I cannot explain the genuine love that develops for a person when watching this kind of growth take place. Most importantly, I have loved experiencing this with my children as well. I look forward to, and welcome these moments in my life. Personally it pushes me to the next level of myself and I get to become a better me.
Jenna W.

Finding Your Creative Outlet – My Music

Ever since I can remember, I have been in love with music. As a young 4 year old I asked to do solos at church, and spent my days on the trampoline singing ‘The Little Mermaid’ songs at the top of my lungs.

When I first started voice lessons, I was obsessed with singing Broadway songs and being in musicals. However, in high school, there were competitions that students could compete in. I started singing classical and opera so I could compete, and to my surprise, found so much love for that music and a vocal strength I never imagined. During my senior year, I chose a challenging french song to compete with. I went all the way to the state level and won. I was then invited to join state wide choirs and other local performances. My dreams were coming true.

Despite the awful eating disorder I was struggling with in high school and college, I could find peace and hope for recovery when I lost myself in my music. I felt like I had a purpose in this life when I shared that music with others.

When I felt most alone, music was there for me. When I felt most lost, music helped me find myself and my true abilities.

Music, for me, is an escape. When I am singing, whether it is by myself at the piano, or in front of an audience of thousands, I feel safe, and most comfortable in my own skin. When I am immersed in music, fear leaves my mind.

Everyone needs an outlet. Everyone needs a way to escape or quiet for stress, depression, anxieties, and anger. What is your outlet? What do you feel most happy doing? Yours may not be music; yours may be acting, drawing, sewing, meditating, sculpting, decorating, baking, writing, blogging, serving, reading, etc. etc.

No matter what you do for your outlet, it is essential in recovery and healing. Our depression or anxiety tell us to isolate ourselves and dissuades us from doing anything that makes us happy. The outlet does the opposite. It reminds us that we can be happy even though we struggle. It reminds us that we are so much more that the sadness or fear we may feel

This week’s postings are all about finding and enjoying your own creative outlet. If you haven’t picked up that guitar or that drawing pad for a long time, I encourage you to set aside at least 5 minutes today to do so. You may even find that you are able to help others who struggle.

I hope you have a fabulous day.