07.18.17

STAY ON COURSE!

“THE PLAN”

“Judy, remember we are not in a hurry, take it easy and just enjoy the hike.” This is what my sweet husband said as we set off , with our 10 year old maltese poodle, on what was supposed to be a short easy 3 mile back packing trip. We intended to start from the Pass lake trail head and hike into Cuberant Lake in the High Uintahs of Utah. The plan was to meet our friends there and set up camp. I’ve always thought of my husband as a walking GPS, especially in the back country. I never worry about where we are going, or if we are on course. I just go and love taking in the smells, the sounds, and the beauty of nature; the only discomfort being the weight of my heavy pack.

 

WE ARE LOST?

This map would’ve come in handy! The green trail marks the path we wanted to be on to Cuberant Lake. The yellow trail is the one we took to Lofty lake.

As we started from the car, there were two trail heads in the parking lot, unfortunately we only saw the one. What was to be a 3 mile backpacking hike turned into 7 miles. Upon reaching Lofty Lake we looked for a camp spot, hoping our friends reached us soon. We began exploring the area and the majestic view of Kamas lake down below… wait Kamas Lake? Where are we? Spotting who we thought were our friends over by Cutthroat Lake we hiked towards them. It turned out to be a couple dads with their boys who, thank heavens, had a map! We no longer were happy in our ignorance, we were in the wrong place on the wrong trail! The worse news was, where we wanted to be was clear over on the other side of a huge mountain!

Now what? camp here? We knew we needed to get to our original goal, Cuberant Lake, where we were supposed to meet out friends. So, after re-routing, we set our course to Cuberant Lake trail where we originally were meant to be.

 

One Step at a time

This is where things got mentally rough. We were exhausted and unsure of where our friends were,  and the sky was growing dark with huge thunderclouds. One option, once we hit the trail cut off point, was to head back to the car, it being closer than the lake. We decided to stick with our original goal, and with our heads down and determination in our legs, we slugged our way up to Cuberant Lake. The whole way, we were praying for the weather, my legs, Jack, the light and my husbands energy to hold on up that steep pass. We took it one step at a time. Then a miracle happened, we arrived at Cuberant lake, and our friends were only minutes behind us. We were so happy to see them, and to have made it to the planned designation. We stayed the course and didn’t give up, even when things were tough, and quitting was so tempting!

 

YOU ARE HERE

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to take long hikes to learn an important life lesson.

Don’t be afraid to pinpoint your exact location on the map of your life. You can’t get where you want to go if you don’t know where you are. If you want new or better results, you must change course, this may include changing behaviors or choices that put you on the wrong path to begin with. Re-route and begin anew with your end goal as your guide. It is never too late, and you are never too far gone to become the person you want to be! Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

 

STAY THE COURSE! PRESS FORWARD

“And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.”

“Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.”

“And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God.” -2 Nephi 31:19-21

I’m so grateful for this experience! I realized the importance of staying on course with my goals in life, and had a great reminder that I can still do hard things with the right attitude. I thought several times about my son and what he taught me that when you think you’re spent and finished, your body is only at 40% and there’s 60% more to give. I still love adventuring with my loving husband, even when his internal GPS has a glitch. Jack survived as well and has spent the past two days sleeping.

Happy Adventuring!

Stay the Course!

Mom

XOXO

07.03.17

Meditation for Transformation and Change

IT’S 100+ DEGRESS OUT THERE TODAY!

NEED TO RELAX AND CHILL OUT?

Download this free mediation “Transformation and Change”

Did you know? Meditation is so healing for your body and mind. When things get heated up and anxiety builds our body is at dis-ease and building up toxins in our nervous system and brain. Taking time each day to mediate has proven to make a difference in healing and recovery. This is small sample of a serious of mediations we will be featuring on My Fear Antidote. We hope you can relax and enjoy!

XOXO

Mom

06.21.17

LOVING OTHERS

THROUGH GOD’S EYES

It’s an interesting thought; what do I look like through God’s eyes? How about my children, neighbor, parents, friends, what about my enemy or the strangers I pass without even a glance? How do we love others as God does?

Perspective

I love the artist Georgia O’Keeffe’s perspective in her paintings- she gets real up close and personal with a flower. Making the viewer stop to really see the details not usually noticed in the hustle and bustle of life. It makes me wonder about the beauty in the small details of each one of us that isn’t seen unless someone takes the time.

This is a peony from my yard- I brought in a huge bouquet to enjoy and hopefully do a painting that resembles Georgia O’Keeffe’s style. Notice the little ant, the deep pink stripes, water droplets and hidden yellows. If The Lord in creating this earth put so much small details in just a flower- imagine the thought and love that is in the creation of us His children! Each one of us is of great worth in God’s eyes. We just have to see each other from His perspective.

THE NATURAL MAN

Sometimes I worry that my natural tendency is to be judgmental and critical of others. Letting my ego get in the way of really seeing and loving others. The scriptures say that the natural man is an enemy to God. And if I am religious, study the scriptures, pray mightily, fast and pay tithes- yet if I don’t have charity and love for others- I am nothing. How do I become more accepting, forgiving and loving of others? How does one overcome the ego and the natural man? Here’s what I understand- we become a “saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord and become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord sees fit to inflict upon me, even as a child doth submit to his father.” This has become my renewed commitment. I pray for charity and to behold others through God’s eyes and heart. How about we do this together! We are all brothers and sisiters- and kindness is powerful especially in families.

“Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people.

A heart that forgives the worst,

A mind that forgets the bad.

And a soul that never loses faith in God.”

 

BEAUTY IN THE WEEDS

We spend big bucks on weed killer for our lawns every year. I admit a dandelion free lawn is beautiful! Have you ever stopped to notice the value of a dandelion? Did you know it’s eatable? I love a good dandelion greens salad. Did you know it helped sustain life for many starving people in Europe in WW2? Did you know there’s dandelion tea that has medicinal properties for upset stomachs? My favorite use though is picking and blowing the seeds for making wishes with my grandchildren. We’ve all meet people who we could classify as obnoxious weeds and it’s hard to see their beauty. I just recently had the experience of befriending such a person, a weed and to my surprise I’ve come to love this person. I had to set aside my ego and self-righteousness to see the beauty. Remember everyone of us needs to be loved and accepted. In that love and acceptance a transformation takes place and the weed becomes a plant of great worth.

My prayer is that we behold each other through God’s eyes and slow down to see the beauty in one another.

XOXO

Mom

06.05.17

CONQUERING YOUR MOUNTAINS

ONE STEP AT A TIME

This past weekend was our family annual Middle Teton hike. The mountain was conquered one step at a time. For me it’s like child birth in that the thrill of the retelling the story and showing off the pictures I somehow forget the hard labor and pain it took to get to the top from one year to the next. On the hike about one plus miles into the steep incline that my legs and gluts begin reminding me. And then after 6 hours and kicking into the snow on the really steep incline I just have to take it one step at a time. I begin wondering why am I doing this? There’s the glorious reward at the summit and a trill to slide down on the snow, and the long hike out which once again I have to take one step at a time. That is how to conquer a mountain. In overcoming our ‘Metal Mountains’ it is also done one step at a time; addictions, depression, eating disorders, anxieties, forgiveness, repentance, ect… anything worth the climb takes hard labor and pain.

But even if … IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

The song by Mercy Me- “Even If” is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the book of Daniel. The three are thrown into a fiery furnace when they refused to bow down to the king’s image. They are preserved from the fire by the Lord. The impressive Faith they displayed was that before even knowing that they would be saved they proclaim to the King, “We believe that our God will deliver us. But if not, be it known … that we will not serve thy gods.” They were taking it one step of faith at a time- come what may. Sometimes mountains aren’t suppose to be moved because there’s an experience and lesson to be learned by continually stepping in faith knowing that some day you will come off conqueror.

They say it only takes a little faith

To move a mountain

Well good thing

A little faith is all I have, right now

But God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Oh give me the strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul.

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul.

Be of Good Cheer… I will lead you along

My son once told me that when your body feels spent that is when you’ve only hit 40% of your physical capacity and then it becomes mental. How do we find the strength to carry on? You personally need to figure this out, for me on the hike when I hit that wall I know I need to refresh myself with water and fuel, but not stop for very long because it’s hard to get a moving again.

This is the same for conquering ‘mental mountains’. I refresh my soul with taking in “Me time- God time & family time” The “Me Time” consists of exercise, writing, plunking away on the ukulele and sometimes a pedicure. My “God Time” is my quite morning study, prayer in sacred places, and reaching out in random acts of kindness. My “Family Time” is the first Sunday of each month, meaningful time with my husband, and calling and checking in on a loved one on the phone.  Find what fuels your soul.

I find sitting on a rock and resting for a moment is needed! Just never give up! Hikes and Life are hard but meant to be joyful! It’s an incline mixed with the exhilarating views from the top and the thrilling slide down the snow but then also the long arduous hike out.  Also, it’s good to keep the mountain in perspective that is done by taking it day at a time and step-by-step.

Remember Christ promised. ” These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” He has already conquered the mountain and He wants to be our guide.

Enjoy the journey today,

Mom

XOXO

05.31.17

What Makes You Uniquely You?

What makes you uniquely you?

Do you ever wonder what’s in your DNA from your ancestors? Not just where do you get your blue eyes or red hair from. But, what about qualities like tenacity, humor, intelligence or talents? What about our mental health issues? Can those things be pasted down through our DNA?  What’s your ancestors stories and how does that show up in your life?

3 crazy Things Real People Have Found in Their Family Trees.

The girl with the tattooed face

Today’s Real Life Wednesday features our ancestors and their voices and lessons from the past. I discovered a real fun and interesting blog at ancestry.com where the past can come to life so to speak. It’s a great place to begin a treasure hunt of your ancestors.

Meet Olivia Oatman the girl with the tattooed face. I marveled at her story and wonder about her posterity. Do they have her resilience? Olive Oatman and her younger sister, Mary Ann, were kidnapped by Indians in 1851 where they were both tattooed with distinctive blue markings on their chins. Her story will put your problems into perspective.

Meet Georgiana Leavitt Karren

ancestor - grandma Meet Georgiana Leavitt Karren my Great Grandma. This photo faces me at my desk where I study. I get the sense that she’s watching out for me. I often wonder what of her DNA is in me? I’ve been told she was a women of great faith. She raised 13 children on a farm while most of those years great grandpa was either a missionary or the bishop. Keep in mind this was during wartime and the great depression. Her life wasn’t easy. My dad would tell me stories about her delicious cooking, love of life and kind giving heart. I’ve imagined at times when feeling low, her embrace and then a “get up” and do something about it whispered in my ear. There’s also something inside of me that wants to live her legacy and doesn’t want to let her down.

group of ancestors

How does that old saying go?

“Our families are like a fruitcake,

it would not be complete without a few nuts.”

That unfortunately is true as well which it only goes to figure a few of their quirks and crazy qualities will show up in us as well. Do you know your story? Is it time to do some digging into your roots? Possibly find healing and strength from your ancestors?

Who knows maybe there’s a pirate in your DNA!

Mom

XOXO

https://familysearch.org/?cid=HP14FAM

05.29.17

Memorial Day- Rememberance

R E M E M B R A N C E 

U.S. Army Private Zach Lawson, 22, of Portland, Oregon, places American flags on graves at Arlington National Cemetery for Memorial Day, in Arlington, Va. on Thursday, May 21, 2009. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

Today is Memorial Day

Take a moment to Remember Sacrifices made for you.
Sacrifices for your Freedoms, for your Peace and for your Happiness.
A changed heart never takes such things for granted
Reflect and Remember the sacrifices made by brave men and women for this country. What a brave things for those of such a young age enlist to do. This year is the first time I’ve had a loved one in the service and it has made this day more meaningful, also my heart more grateful for our children’s courage, also has strengthened my faith in God by trusting my son into His hands.


THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

I pray that I will Always Remember the Savior Jesus Christ who gave Himself as the Ultimate Sacrifice for us All!

“He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.”

GREAT SACRIFICES= GREAT BLESSINGS

I think that must be why when we sacrifice our time, talents, money or even our lives for others- it is made Holy.

“Nothing you give is lost to you or anyone, but cherished and preserved in Heaven.”

05.24.17

REAL LIFE FEATURING BRITTANY

Meet Brittany My journey continues to be laid out before me and the path travels inward. To date my biggest struggle has been self-acceptance and embracing my own story. This sounds a lot like an issue that we can all relate to, am I right? I can remember being the youngest of 3 siblings and watching how amazing my siblings were, thinking there is no way I will ever be as good at sports as I either of them. Later, as the middle child of 5, I remember thinking I finally had a purpose; children to care for and play with. Self-acceptance is something I struggle with to this day. I used to constantly compare myself to other women, and in pure awe wonder how they could be so beautiful and amazing.

My breakthrough moment of pure joy was prior to my divorce when I realized that I deserve love and I deserve to be happy. I am entitled to speak my mind and stand up for myself. Boundaries are healthy and allow me to breathe. My mindset shifted from “Why can’t I?” or “Why not me?” to “I am beautiful.” Repeating statements of self-affirmations to myself throughout the day as instructed to me by my dear friend Sylvia was such a helpful step. It was work, and I mean real work to say out loud “I love myself.”

 

Fast forward to my current world where I thought I was doing better, even healthy if you will. I had set boundaries for people in my life including myself. I practiced how I spoke to myself and felt comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life.

But in reality, am struggling to balance the light and the dark. Today I am trying to nurture the aching void inside my chest after the horrible heartache of my little sister’s death. Some days pass and I never leave my apartment. I sit and negotiate with myself hoping that I will build up the strength to leave that day and face the world. The days I win and journey to the grocery store outnumber the ones I stay home but it is a daily conversation.

I dread being the center of attention, and in my job this is an everyday reality. So, I read, I cry, and yet some days I smile and feel completely normal. I want to hold my baby sister’s hand as we sit in the sun and talk about her semester at college. I want to dream about how we will fix the world together. We never did understand how some people could be so cruel or thoughtless.

We had plans. I hoped we were going to travel together because she was so brave. She was everything I couldn’t have been. I put the best pieces of myself in her heart and she was so amazing. This is not just and ode to my sister but a realization of how much love we are capable of.

Since her passing, I have gained weight, I have lost weight, and put it all back on. I have so many inner struggles but I will always know how blessed I am. My struggle is not the end of a story but the beginning of another adventure where I’m the author. I love and respect myself enough to ask for help because as much as we want to be independent humans, our life is meant to be shared.

What Will We Learn From This?

Human connection is paramount. Your journey inward is about healing the pieces of yourself that turn cold when you are placed in an uncomfortable situation. Building the courage to do what is right because you may never get another chance. I will always be imperfect but I acknowledge my areas of weakness. Hopefully this will help me not to harm anyone else along the way.

I pray you don’t know my struggle. Rather, I hope that you can have real conversations with one another so that we might learn how to do better. Your life is your journey, let it reflect who you are.

The light in me acknowledges the light in you,

 

Brittany

05.22.17

The Great Sacrifices and Journey of a Hero

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”   -Joseph Campbell

Did you know I’m a Navy Mom? This weekend my son graduated from Naval basic training. My heart swelled with pride and admiration for him and all those recruits as they marched into the hall. It was such a tender moment to embrace him all dressed up in his white sailor uniform. There was a definite polish to him that wasn’t there before. He is a hero in my book.

To be honest, his joining the Navy is something I dreaded and fought against for a long time. There’s still some aspects of it that I just can’t allow myself to dwell on or my mommy heart aches. I’m discovering that which I feared, might be what makes Shane the man of great faith he was created to be.

What he’s doing certainly isn’t easy and I admire his passion and drive for this mission and goal. I don’t have the courage for such things- I’m a sissy when it comes to enduring pain, people yelling at me, and I can’t do a single chin up. I have seen the sacrifice and hard work he is willing to pay.

The next stage of training for him is to stay for another 8 weeks for hard training in Great Lakes. This training is intended to strengthen and refine him for BUDS, which will test every fiber of his soul. You can be sure his family and  I will be doing a lot of praying and our share of worrying. This is a sacrifice for us as well. This is a team effort.

I am learning through this experience that the greater our willingness and ability to sacrifice, the greater the blessings and positive growth we receive. That principle isn’t just for sailors, it applies to all of us in life; for real change, positive growth, and to realize our hopes for the future.

So, what are you fearing to sacrifice? What may be holding you back from becoming the hero you were born to be? Is there a possibility that what you are avoiding in your journey just may be what will take you where real health, recovery, and joy begin?

LOOKING FOR A HERO?

We don’t choose heroes from those who have never been through something hard. We admire and try to emulate those who have faced and overcome extreme adversity and then have emerged with their integrity intact. Consider the life of the Savior- He who faced and overcame every affliction, He is the ultimate hero for us to emulate. His infinite and eternal sacrifice was for each of us, He knows us personally and loves us. He is my hero.

 

Additional lesson learned from the weekend…

Enjoy the moments, slow down to talk and reconnect, listen, laugh, hold each other close, pray together and have hope for more tomorrows to enjoy.

Return with Honor,

XOXO

Mom

05.17.17

Real Life Featuring Katee Payne

Meet Katee

My name is Katee Payne and I am a recovering anxiety driven woman.  I didn’t realize this was a problem until I started dental hygiene school and was brought into a room with my professors for an intervention. They were concerned with my test scores and were suggesting that I drop out and reapply when I was better mentally prepared. But you see, getting accepted in the first place was a huge struggle for me.

Graduation

It had taken me 3 years to be accepted. I learned I had a fear of working on cadavers for a few of my required courses, so I moved to Farmington, New Mexico, to attend San Juan College. I made the switch for two semesters because they used plastic cadavers. Did I mention for one of those semesters I lived with my cousins in-laws, who I hardly knew? Their basement flooded the week before I got there, requiring me to sleep on a mattress in their kitchen. It was a TON of sacrifice, extremely out of my comfort zone, and just really hard. I wasn’t about to give up now. 

Overcoming Obstacles

My teachers proceeded to tell me it was very apparent I had testing anxiety, as my verbal tests were extremely higher than my written tests. And they were right. When I would sit down to test my mind would go completely blank. My heart would race like I was running from a bear and I would occasionally get so sick to my stomach I would throw up before tests. It was a big problem. Their suggestion was to visit the on campus doctor and get an anxiety prescription. But as it turns out, the side effects of the meds were more terrible than the anxiety itself!

The medication didn’t feel like a good option for me and I didn’t think I was at a point where it was necessary. I wanted to find another solution. This was where I was introduced to Essential Oils.

Frankincense to be exact. I was told to smell it as well as to put it on the bottom of my feet and base of my skull. I thought this was crazy but decided to give it a try.  My first experience with it, before a test, I found it slowed my racing heart. It cleared my mind. It helped me remain calm so I could recall the information I had spent so much time studying. It still seemed crazy to me but I kept with it. I never had to use the prescription; frankincense pulled me through. And this girl who was asked to drop out and reapply when she was better mentally prepared, graduated with 100% on her clinical exam. 

Understanding Yourself

I have to point out, however, how much personality plays into my anxiety. If you’ve never taken a personality test, I highly recommend you do. It helps you become aware of your strengths and it helps you understand yourself more fully. I used the Strengths Finder program and found my top strengths to be learner, strategic, futuristic, relator and achiever.

Family

These top strengths are all geared towards goal making and achieving the goals that I set. That is a lot of pressure! But it’s hard wired into my system, so naturally, it brings me joy and fulfillment and I thrive on learning new things and incorporating them into my life. They fuel me with a desire to be my best, and to stay focused on my goals. But there must be a balance. Our strengths can also be our weaknesses if we allow them to go too far. And for me, the fear of not getting it all done or not giving it my very best would at times take over and overwhelm me. 

As a young girl in junior high and high school, I had an eating disorder. I exercised way too excessively and I stopped eating, almost all together. My desire to achieve, my unrealistic goals, and my immaturity all played into this terribly damaging life choice. I got overwhelmed with the self-imposed pressure I put on myself in every area of my life and was out of control. But I felt, because I had great discipline, I could control what I put in my mouth, or in this case, what I didn’t put in my mouth. All this in an effort to gain a sense of control and that feeling of accomplishment and achievement. 

My Top Six Tools

I tell you this because it is all a part of my journey and a part of my life long lesson of becoming. Becoming all that I am capable of becoming and fulfilling the purpose I was sent on this earth to perform. I have found a few tools that have helped me.

#1. Essential Oils 

They’ve been my alternative to medication. I’ve been able to manage my emotions and mood through their use and for the most part, have had great success. But they aren’t a cure all, the real change that must take place is in the mind. 

#2. Mindfulness and Meditation

I’ve found it important to take time at the beginning of each day to set my intention. To do this I clear my mind, breathe, and prepare for the day ahead by repeating positive affirmations.  We must train our minds to think positively.  It begins with a thought, the thought brings up an emotion, and the emotion then drives our actions.  Giving our mind uplifting and empowering thoughts will elicit positive emotions, which  will then propel our actions toward doing good and treating ourselves with more patience and kindness. 

#3. Priorities

I try to have my priorities in clear view and arrange my activities around my priorities.  When my top priorities are being met and nourished, I fill more fulfilled and satisfied with my efforts.  It’s when I feel like my top priorities are actually being neglected and I’m letting things of less importance take my time and energy, that I feel the anxiety creeping in.  I use a weekly priority planner and it has helped me.

#4. Gratitude Journal

 When we can fill our minds with the positive blessings we enjoy, we have less room for the negative to creep in and cause havoc. Finding things to be grateful for puts us in a better frame of mind. It helps us to see the fruit in life, in ourselves, and those we love, rather than all the weeds and thorns. When I am needing the extra focus on things that bring me joy, I keep a gratitude journal next to my bed and write down 10 things each day that I am thankful for.  

#5. Joy List

I make a list of things that bring me joy and choose a few things off the list each week or sometimes each day to fill my own bucket.  When I feel my needs are being met, this also helps keep the anxiety away. It can be as easy as morning yoga, a bath, a nap, time to read a good book or lunch date with my mom, date night with my husband, or a pedicure!

#6. Letting Go and Allowing God 

This is hard. This is a constant, never ending choice I have to make. I can choose fear or I can choose God. Increasing my relationship with Him has helped me to trust in His will. This brings me peace and perspective. This goes back to my priority planning.  I choose to make my relationship with my Father in Heaven a priority  because He brings Peace that nothing on earth can.

It’s All About Choice

family

What I have learned and continue to find is it’s all about choice. I can choose to live in fear, live in self imposed stress, worry and overwhelm, or I can take simple steps each day to overcome these feelings and make the choice to live in a state of faith, gratitude, and joy. Which sounds more fun? I’m seeing how fast time flies as I watch my babies grow. Time is passing quickly and we can never get this time back. This is my life. I get to create it however I want it to be. Fear, anxiety, worry, and unnecessary stress steal my time and my joy. Eventually, stealing my life. I will continue to strive each day and each situation to choose faith, God and joy. It’s not easy and I imagine it’s a life long lesson for me but I’m trying and I’m learning. I’m finding greater peace and greater joy. It’s a process but one that’s definitely worth giving my very best.

Cheering you on!

Love,

Katee

For more free resources from Katee, subscribe with your email and we’ll send you her affirmations, a joy list sheet, and more!

Creator of LionessCalling.com, a support site for women striving to provide, protect, nurture and enrich all they hold dear.  Find me on instagram @lionesscalling.

Doterra Diamond Leader. To receive oil education, to view online classes and recieve tips and tricks, find me at LWPandP.com as well as Instagram: @teampayne.learn.grow.share
A Founder of Elysian Events.  Uplifting events for Women, Teens and Children find us at ElysianEvents.me or on Facebook at Elysian Events
Contact me and let me know you found me at My Fear Antidote and receive a free 20 min. wellness consult to learn more about oils, get my suggestions, and a free emotional oil sample pack!
05.15.17

We Are ENOUGH. . . Aren’t We?

WHO AM I?

The scale says I am overweight. My pant size says I am too big. The medical field calls me obese. By societies standards I am not skinny enough. BUT I CALL BULL CRAP! I say I am healthy. My brain tells me I am active and in shape and my reflection in the mirror says I am beautiful and I AM ENOUGH! I determine my worth, not you!

Your probably wondering WHOA! Where did that come from? Well, I had an ah-ha moment over a month ago that I have been reflecting on and I want to share it with you.

girl smiling. she is enough

THE PITY PARTY

Over the past few months I have had many conversations with people about “life” and the challenges I have faced over the last 2 years. I have had some of these people give me advice on what to do with my life. Some have told me that all I needed to do was a juice cleanse and then all my anxiety and problems would go away. (Shoot girl, I would live off of juice if it made all my problems go away). Others have said things like, “Sarah, you have been dealing with one thing after another for 2 years now, it’s time to be done with it”. Or how about this one,  “Sarah, you have weight to lose”, or my favorite line, “Sarah, you haven’t been comfortable in your own skin for years now. So it’s now time to lose weight and move forward”. {insert jaw drop here}

One conversation I had recently stung more than most and after it was over I cried! I cried because of how she made me feel.  I cried because I have been working so hard to be OK with my weight and the things I have gone through the last 2 years. But mostly, I cried because I wished I was different. I was left with a feeling of worthlessness, that I had somehow let her down by having unwanted weight and unwanted problems. I found myself listing all the things I wanted to change about myself, and my life. I was in a spiral of all things I AM NOT.

I am not healthy

I am not strong

I am not in shape

I am not skinny

I am not enough

This list went on and on …

Girl that is enough

I AM ENOUGH

My pity party went on for a few hours until I asked myself these questions: Where does my worth come from? Who is she to determine how I feel about myself? Who is she to determine my worth?

I learned a valuable lesson that day, one that I have been reflecting on daily since.  I learned my worth isn’t decided by others. My worth was decided long ago by a loving Heavenly Father. He knows of my struggles, flaws, and imperfections and yet here I am still loved by Him who created me. I also learned that outside voices or influences can’t determine if I am enough, only I can determine that!

I am healthy 

I am strong

I am in shape 

I AM ENOUGH!

Do I have unwanted weight to lose? SURE! Do I still have anxiety? You betcha! Do my family and I still face problems? Of course! Do I let these things determine how awesome I am? No Way!

YOU ARE ENOUGH

So what about you? Do you know your worth? Do you let what others think of you determine if your enough? Do you let others hurtful words shake your knowledge of who you truly are?

What people think of you is their right and their own business but it cannot, I repeat, it CANNOT influence your worth!

Christie Gardiner, the author of You Are The Mother Your Children Need says it best:

. . . Enough people have, are and will tear you down. Don’t let yourself be one of them.

If I could shout “YOU ARE ENOUGH!!” from the rooftops I would. and I would do it daily! We as woman need to start believing that no matter what others say about us, what crappy advice people give us or what society tells us… WE ARE ENOUGH!

girl reflecting she is enough

So, if you are doing what I did and throwing yourself a pity party, I challenge you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and GO SHOW THEM THAT ONLY YOU DETERMINE THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH!

. . . and then let’s make sure we are thinking the best of everyone around us. Please remember, you don’t know what motivates a person, hurts a person or sets a person’s soul on fire. So until we have special vision goggles that can see into a persons heart, let’s assume the best of each other and try to love each other a little better! And above all, let’s remember WE are enough!

XOXO

Sarah